i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm bleeding and have questions
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
