You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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