So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
