I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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