Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
