We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
