Kiss
Puke
i think i have two assholes
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
