Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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