you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
