im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
