Too much gin, very little bucket
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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