tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
