seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
