Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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