eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
