I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
