Non-Jews are for practice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
