these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
