Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
