mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
