i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
