all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
