I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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