By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
either way he was missing a nipple.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
