Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
