her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
