He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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