we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
