Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
