She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
