is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
