well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
