I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
