if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
