You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Your tits are I can't wait for
If that was your dad, he is hot
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
