But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
