Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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