So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
