Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well I just put wine in my tea
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
