i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
