I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
