When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
