Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Mom said you looked used
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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