she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
