He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
