I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
