At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
