Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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