i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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