I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
