Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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