Im at strip club and am horny
I wish I could punch you in the face.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
