awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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