I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Actions speak louder than pants.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
