I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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