ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
