3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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