that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
