Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
