I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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