Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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