I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
