Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
her vagine was all disorganized.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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